Your daughter has everything she could ever ask for. She has always been driven, pushing herself to be captain of the dance team, lead role in the high school musical, and become class president every year since she was a freshman. You admired her focus, as that is how you were as a teen girl.
But lately, she has seemed off. She is tired and angry, and she has not been as engaged with her activities as usual. Even her guidance counselor has noticed a difference, but you can’t seem to figure out why. When you try to talk to her, she states that she feels so alone, and that no one understands her. How can that be? She has so many friends, a loving family, and every opportunity at her fingertips. What is going on? How can you help?
A Northern Texas report showed that 38% of high school students report feeling sad or hopeless every day for more than two weeks at a time. At Roots Renewal Ranch, we understand how lonely society and social media can make teen girls feel. Our program is unique in addressing substance use, mental health, and societal pressures in girls aged 13-17. The Roots blog is a great resource for parents to connect and understand what is happening to their teen daughters and how they can help. Today, we are looking at teen loneliness, and how it can affect your daughter.
Understanding the Cause of Teen Loneliness in Girls
Loneliness is difficult to understand because it doesn’t simply mean being alone. Since 2012, loneliness in teens and young adults has seen a significant increase – almost doubling in 2018. How can teens be lonely when they are in school and surrounded by friends? Some common causes of loneliness in teen girls include:
- Family difficulties such as divorce
- Moving to a new city
- Experiencing in-person or cyberbullying
- Not being included in activities
- Siblings moving out
What Is Considered Teen Loneliness?
Teen loneliness can sometimes mirror other mental health conditions or be a symptom of an underlying condition. When teens are feeling lonely, they may be more withdrawn and not committed to activities or their friends. They may lash out with anger and irritation at simple questions or scenarios. Teens may also show more signs of depression and anxiety when they are feeling lonely. Seeing these signs can be an indicator that it may be time to seek teen therapy.
How to Recognize Teen Loneliness
As stated above, loneliness in teens can mimic other types of mental health conditions. Some common signs of loneliness include:
- Avoiding social situations with family and friends
- Fearful of missing out on events
- Inability to emotionally regulate
- Isolating and withdrawing
- Sleep problems such as not sleeping enough or sleeping too much
- Eating habit changes
- Using substances or drinking
The Effects of Social Media and Technology on Teen Girls’ Loneliness
Social media has caused a large number of issues in the world of teen girls. Part of feeling lonely is feeling alienated. Seeing other teen girls on social media can take a toll on self-esteem. Girls often compare themselves to their peers, and seeing posts or images that seem more beautiful or lavish than their own lives can cause a dip in mental health.
In the age of TikTok, Facebook reels, and Instagram, teen girls can especially feel pressure to become internet famous. So many teens – both girls and boys – are making a living by posting on the internet. Seeing their success can not only hurt self-esteem but also increase lonely feelings. They want to be on that side of the camera and be able to say they can provide for themselves at such a young age. This causes further alienation from their peers and adds to loneliness.
Lastly, cyberbullying is running rampant among teen girls and can cause alienation. Being bullied causes low self-esteem, isolation, and can even lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. If the teen girl feels she has no one to talk to about cyberbullying, she will feel lonely and like she doesn’t belong. As these feelings increase, depression and anxiety can develop.
The Effect Loneliness Has on Teen Girls’ Mental Health
Loneliness does not always mean there is an underlying mental health condition, but that does not mean it should be ignored. When teen girls are feeling lonely, usually it stems from fear of not being included. Being lonely tends to come back to not being understood, and seeing situations or people around you and not feeling relatable can cause mental health deterioration. This can happen from both perceived good and bad situations. Seeing all her friends get into good colleges can make her feel lonely because she didn’t. But vice versa, being the only one to get into a good college can be alienating and lead to feelings of loneliness.
Does Loneliness Impact a Teen’s Brain Development?
Studies have shown that when kept internally, feelings of loneliness can lead to environmental behaviors. What this means is that instead of being able to relate to peers, the teen will turn to outside sources such as substances, food, or reckless behaviors in order to cope with the pressures of adolescence. This is where social anxiety can develop, when a teen girl has managed her loneliness for a prolonged period, the brain adapts to those feelings. Interacting with peers can seem like a catastrophic event, leading to further negative feelings. Seeking social anxiety treatment can help teen girls gain skills to manage everyday stresses.
The good news? Loneliness is part of the human condition, and over time it can be managed using healthy communication and coping strategies. As long as action is taken and your teen has an outlet for these feelings, chances are, she’ll be just fine.
What Role as a Parent Do You Have in Helping Your Teen Girl Deal with Loneliness?
As parents, we strive to provide the absolute best for our children. But think about the times. Remember when you were a teen and your parents just “didn’t get it.” What were your trials and tribulations? Every generation from the Great Depression to Gen X, millennials to Gen Z, has had their share of problems. Each and every parent will have to navigate the new societal issues on top of normal teen hormones and stresses. Being able to recognize when your teen is feeling lonely, alienated, or withdrawn is crucial to being able to open up the doors for a conversation. Being engaged and open will help your teen girl feel she has a space to speak her mind and feel valued.
Strategies That Friends and Family Can Use to Help Your Teen Girl with Loneliness
Loneliness can be a key sign that treatment for a mental health disorder in your teen girl is necessary. Some techniques and strategies to share with your teen when she is feeling lonely include:
- Encourage connection with old friends and new friends
- Try a new activity or retry a previous one
- Find what is missing in life, whether social, mental, or physical
- Take time for yourself to laugh and engage in silliness
- Start a self-love journal. Write things you love about yourself and positive moments throughout the day
- Find people who enjoy the same activities as you. Groups exist for almost every hobby
All in all, communication is key in addressing teen loneliness to prevent further damage. By being supportive and seeking treatment when needed, we as parents can help our teens feel the love and support they need to combat loneliness.
If your teen girl is feeling lonely, don’t hesitate to seek help. At Roots Renewal Ranch, we understand the pressures teen girls have on themselves. Between social media and society, it can be difficult to live up to self-set standards. Our beautiful facility is located away from the distractions and daily pressures your teen manages daily. With new coping skills and a strong foundation for her mental health moving forward, your teen can and will flourish. Call us today at 888-399-0489 to learn more about how we help teen girls and our program.
FAQs
Is feeling lonely at 15 normal?
Loneliness has been affecting more and more teens and young adults since 2012. This is equated to the rise in social media and the internet’s presence.
At what age does loneliness peak?
There is no age that loneliness peaks. Children as young as 12 and adults as old as 85 can feel lonely. While the reasonings behind loneliness may be different, it can affect anyone in the same caliber.
