When Does Anger Become a Problem?
Anger is a natural emotion that is healthy when expressed appropriately. Anger becomes a problem when it is chronic, occurs out of proportion to the situation, and leads to serious consequences. For teenage girls, anger issues can result in social disruption, negative impact on grades, and verbal or physical aggression.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness Texas, there has been a 31% increase in mental health emergency department visits as of February 2022. The National Alliance on Mental Illness Texas also reports “Students aged 6-17 with mental, emotional or behavioral concerns are 3x more likely to repeat a grade.” This means that the difficulty of managing anger can impact your teen’s ability to learn and can lead to poor grades in school. The American Psychological Association. reports that anger management treatment for teenage girls is highly effective for reducing anger and aggression when given emotional regulation and problem-solving skills (NAMI, 2022).
You try asking your daughter about school but they ignore you, continuing to look at their phone. This is when you redirect them to stop what they’re doing and answer you. Your daughter then becomes rude, calling you a name or cursing at you. Now you’re arguing with them about respect and they yell at you in frustration. The simple task of asking them to give you their attention has now turned into a full-blown fight. If this is similar to what you experienced with your daughter, then they might need anger management. Learning the possible causes of your teen’s chronic anger and anger management tools can provide relief.
What Issues Can Contribute to My Daughter’s Anger?
The following is a list of issues that may cause anger issues in teenage girls:
The need for independence- Similar to what is commonly referred to as the “terrible twos”, teen years for girls are a resurgence of wanting to become independent from their parents again. They might not know how to express this desire in an appropriate way, leading to friction, verbal insults, and sometimes physical aggression.
The brain is still developing - Even though your daughter might be taller and appear more adult-like, their brain, especially the frontal lobe, is still very underdeveloped. The frontal lobe of the brain controls self-regulation, so they struggle to think and act reasonably.
It might be depression - Depression is commonly expressed as anger, especially in teen girls. Without the maturity and language to express themselves appropriately, teen girls who are experiencing depression might become more irritable and frustrated as a result of feeling hopeless or not feeling in control.
Difficult social situations - Trying to fit in or navigate ever-changing social norms and pressure is difficult for most teen girls, but for some, a drastic change or traumatic situation at school or their social group could cause them to become angry easily.
Family issues - Teenage girls dislike feeling controlled, so any environment or rules that they feel are restrictive or disrespectful can exasperate their frustration. Any changes at home, such as separation, divorces, or moving, are stressful and, just as in adults, teenage girls may lash out from not being able to manage their feelings surrounding changes. Teenage girls are highly sensitive to their parents’ stress and experience distress more than teen boys (Psychology Today, 2018).
COVID-19 Pandemic - Even if your daughter has not contracted COVID-19, they are still a high-risk group for mental health and behavioral health issues. For teenage girls who relied heavily on social interactions with peers for emotional support, the pandemic made socialization more difficult, removing a great safety net. Teenagers who benefited for in-person learning and being able to leave the home were now having to greatly adjust the only way they have known to learn without much preparation. Between societal disruptions and isolation, teenage girls are the group that has experienced the most increase in mental health disorders since the beginning of the pandemic (John Hopkins University, 2021).
How Can My Daughter Manage Her Anger Management
Express themselves - Anger is usually a reaction to an intense feeling or situation, so when it is not expressed in a timely manner, it can build and eventually lead to verbal or physical aggression. Any healthy and appropriate way of expressing emotions for teenage girls can help them gain relief. Writing, journaling, dancing, or talking with a trusted friend or family member about what they are feeling are all great coping strategies.
Find a purpose - Often, anger is the result of sadness or feeling unable to be in control of life choices. If your daughter exhibits anger when told no or a boundary is set, they could benefit from finding a skill or activity they can master. Extracurricular activities, such as a sport or playing a musical instrument, will give them something they can control when there is a lot in their environment that they cannot control.
Make peace - In Dialectical Behavioral Theory, a common intervention for emotional regulation is to purposely elicit the opposite emotion. The opposite emotion of anger is calm, so having your daughter do a calming activity when they start to feel angry or at any time can significantly reduce angry feelings. Meditation, yoga, gardening, drawing, painting, and even cooking are all great activities that evoke a sense of peace.
Breathe - While it seems unusual when an intense emotion like anger is present, breathing becomes shallow and quicker because the body is preparing for a fight. Having your teen daughter breathe slowly can help reduce their blood pressure, which in turn reduces feeling overwhelmed by emotions.
Sometimes counting while breathing can help to take the focus off of whatever is making them angry.
Recognize the need for help - Chances are, if your daughter is expressing anger inappropriately to you, then they are doing so to other people in their life. Suggest your daughter ask themselves if their anger has ever gotten them in trouble or has made other people upset. If they answer yes to either of those questions and coping skills aren’t working on their own, they should consider getting help.
What Can I Do If My Daughter is Having Anger Issues?
Let them feel angry, appropriately - It is important to note that when your child is angry, having them feel the anger is better than telling them to calm down. No one likes to be told to calm down when feeling a strong emotion. Feelings come in waves and when anger reaches its peak, being able to react logically is difficult. It is best to let them feel angry as long as they are not hurting themselves or anyone else.
Normalize anger - Teenage girls that have difficulty managing their anger can often feel bad or an outcast in the family as a result of their anger issues. When they are calm, try telling them that anger is a normal emotion and it is okay to feel it. You can also tell them that hurting others or doing things to hurt themselves when anger is not tolerated, but their feelings are valid.
Praise acceptable anger - Positive reinforcement is better at changing behavior than punishment because when we feel good, dopamine is released, making us behave in a way to feel good again. Try to reward your daughter when they handle a tough situation or a trigger for their anger in an appropriate way. Verbal praise will make your daughter feel good and when they feel good, they will most likely repeat the behavior to get praise in the future.
Find their triggers - Everyone has something that makes them mad or frustrated, and teenage girls are no different. Try having a discussion with them about what makes them feel this way. You can be honest with them that not everything can be fixed, as frustrating things happen in life, but finding out what makes them angry or frustrated makes both you and them more prepared. When you know what to expect, you can try to calm them down or possibly avoid the trigger to help decrease explosive anger.
Set boundaries - Consistently setting boundaries, or what you will not tolerate, will help decrease blowups and aggression. If your daughter becomes verbally aggressive, such as cursing, bullying, or yelling, you can set a boundary that you will only engage with them when they speak calmly and appropriately. Remove any objects or methods of hurting themselves or others when angry. Try not to react or talk about the angry episode as much as possible to let your daughter know their behavior is not acceptable.
Anger Management Treatment at Roots Renewal Ranch
If your teen is having difficulty managing their anger, then an anger management treatment program should be considered. Approach the topic with your daughter with care and patience. Let them know that treatment is a good thing to help them have a better quality of life.
The following are Therapy Programs offered at Roots Renewal Ranch that can help manage anger in adolescent girls:
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - This evidence-based approach was designed to help individuals develop emotional regulation skills, which is a key component to effectively managing your daughter’s anger.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - In this therapeutic program, your daughter is guided to be empowered to identify, rethink, and ultimately change negative or incorrect trains of thought.
- Family Therapy Programs - When teenage daughters have pervasive anger issues, it can affect the whole family as well. Roots Renewal Ranch offers individual therapy in addition to several different family therapy programs to provide services for you and your family.
Get Treatment for Your Loved One Today
Watching your daughter struggle with an anxiety disorder at such a young age can be really hard. But we want you to know that you and your daughter are not alone. Reach out to Roots Renewal Ranch today and help get your daughter the treatment she needs. Call us at (888) 399-0489.
Click to copy and share:
