Teens don’t clean their rooms – let’s just be honest about that. Sometimes they like having the freedom to be messy because they know they can’t leave things lying around in the kitchen or living space. Their room could be their little act of rebellion in this way. Other times, their room is a way for them to express themselves. In some circumstances, they may even keep it messy just to make your blood boil. Whatever the reason, it can be frustrating, especially if you like to keep things tidy.
But what if their messy room means more? What if your daughter doesn’t have the motivation (or even the strength) to pick it up because she’s managing depression? How can you tell? How can you help?
At Roots Renewal Ranch, we know how easy it is to worry about your daughter. You feel responsible for their well-being, and you don’t want them to be experiencing something like depression without your knowledge. Unfortunately, teen girls won’t always tell you what’s going on, and their thoughts are often complex and hard to read. When she’s not talking to you, it can be hard to decipher whether or not she’s experiencing something serious. Today we’re going to talk about depression rooms, how to spot them, and what you can do to help.
What Is The Cause of a Depression Room?
First and foremost, before you worry too much about that messy room, remember: 4.4% of American teens are currently living with depression. While that number is larger than we’d like it to be, it is still small in comparison to the number of teens out there. If 100 teenagers were standing in a room right now, only 4 of them would have depression. You must look at your daughter’s room from a logical and pragmatic standpoint, even if you feel worried. That being said, we also need to understand how depression can affect teens and their habits. This can help us recognize when it might be a problem.
Here is something many do not know: depression is absolutely exhausting. Most people living with depression also manage daily fatigue. The time someone with depression spends inside their head, fighting to stay alive, fighting to “think positive”, to make it through the day when all they want to do is sleep, is draining. This isn’t just “in someone’s head”, either. It is real, physical fatigue. Here are some of the reasons why:
- Depression causes sleep disturbances. People managing depression have a lot on their minds, and that’s putting it lightly. Insomnia and depression go hand-in-hand because when it’s time to sleep, people with depression tend to ruminate which can impact their sleep patterns. Depression also causes people to sleep more than they normally would, which can impact the circadian rhythm and create issues with falling asleep on time in the evenings. When someone doesn’t have enough sleep, the body begins to slow down (this happens to everyone). When someone gets too much sleep, brain fog and sluggishness are also common.
- Depression impacts cortisol levels, which can slow the body down. Cortisol is a hormone in the body responsible for feelings of stress. An increased cortisol response is common in those managing depression. In other words, during times of stress, cortisol levels increase, which is hard on the body.
- Depression impacts the brain’s reward system. Many changes happen in the brain when someone is depressed. The part of the brain that allows us to feel good when we’ve done something good, like cleaning our rooms or making it to work on time, is heavily affected in those who have depression. This is why people with depression have a lack of motivation, as well. They don’t see the point in doing anything “good” because it’s not going to make them feel good.
- Depression causes brain fog. Have you ever had a long day at work – one of those days that seem to stretch on forever – and when you get home, all you have the energy to do is watch TV and go to bed? While you were working, you used all of your mental energy on your tasks, so your brain naturally needs a break at the end of it. For people with depression, that feeling is common from the moment they wake up in the morning. Depressed minds don’t get the same “breaks” that mentally healthy minds are capable of taking. Brain fog makes it difficult to focus on tasks, stay organized, set goals, or muster up any motivation.
- Depression causes inflammation in the body. Research shows that there is a clear link between the brain and the body that causes inflammation and other physical ailments – especially in those with depression. This is also why you sometimes hear people with depression complain about aching joints, headaches, and other physical stressors.
If your teen daughter is living with depression, chances are, she’s managing one or more of these things. Whether it’s fatigue, lack of motivation, physical discomfort, or increased cortisol levels, one thing is certain: it isn’t laziness. If she is depressed and she isn’t cleaning her room, it’s likely because it takes more energy than she has.
Is She Too Lazy To Clean Her Room, or Is She Depressed?
As mentioned earlier, there are several reasons why your daughter might be avoiding the monster that is her room (“laziness” isn’t a common one). But how can you tell if it’s depression that’s causing it?
This is a tough one. If she isn’t opening up or talking to you, it can be difficult to get a clear-cut answer to this question. What you can do is sit down with her and have an honest, respectful conversation about how her feelings are affecting her life.
If that doesn’t work (because sometimes it doesn’t), there are additional signs of and symptoms of teen depression you can look out for:
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Isolating herself (spending most of her time in her room, avoiding her friends)
- A change in her eating habits
- The presence of drug paraphernalia or empty bottles of alcohol (substance use)
- An overall unhappy outlook about the world around her
- A loss of interest in her hobbies or creative pursuits
- Outbursts of anger or crying
If you notice some (or all) of these signs alongside a messy room, it’s time to seek treatment. It doesn’t necessarily mean she has teen depression. An underdeveloped prefrontal cortex and an affinity for risk-seeking behaviors are common in teens, and these can cause many of the behaviors we mentioned. However, treatment is beneficial to any teen, especially if she is managing big feelings or changes. Therapy could help her cultivate healthy coping mechanisms and handle her emotions in more productive ways.
What Causes of Lack of Motivation in Teens?
A lack of teen motivation is typically not a cause for concern – as long as it’s mild. Not picking up her room, missing a homework assignment, or choosing to nap on a Saturday instead of going out with her friends doesn’t mean something is wrong. The truth is that most teenagers are hardwired to “live in the moment” and disregard common responsibilities. Their prefrontal cortex, or the area of the brain responsible for organizing rational thoughts, actions, and emotions, is underdeveloped. They are still learning, growing, and forming healthy habits. A lack of motivation doesn’t usually signal a problem unless it’s causing reclusive behavior or impairing her quality of life.
Can a Clean Room Change Mood Swings? Helping My Teen Daughter Feel Calm and Peaceful in Her Space
If your daughter is regularly having mood swings, having a calm and peaceful environment can be very beneficial. It’s difficult to organize your thoughts when the space around you isn’t organized. It might be a good idea to clean her room together once a week if time permits. It can also be helpful to help her redecorate her room to suit her. She’s going through a lot of changes, and a room she can be proud of can add to her feelings of safety and security.
Methods to Help My Teen Clean Her Room When She’s Feeling Depressed
If you believe your daughter is living with depression, seeking treatment should be the first step. Once she’s in treatment and learning how to manage her depression, you can begin to help her pick up the pieces. Cleaning her room together is a great way to bond, and it’s also a fun way to help her express herself visually.
It isn’t a good idea to demand that your daughter keep her room clean, especially if she’s finding her way around depression. She could be feeling exhausted, and if she’s forced to clean, she won’t be proud of the job she did. It could also cause resentment further down the line. Instead, offer to help her. Remind her that she can take it one small section at a time. She may look at her room and feel overwhelmed. Reminding her that you support her and love her, regardless of how clean her room is, can help her feel safe and motivated to heal.
Roots Renewal Ranch uses a comprehensive, whole-child (bio-psycho-social-spiritual) approach to treating depression in a safe, distraction-free environment. Girls at Roots learn to journey through their life stories, discover their core roots, create a loving sense of self, and build hope in a healthy and purposeful life.
To learn more about our 90-day adolescent inpatient program, call 888-399-0489 today!
FAQs About Depression Room
What does depression room mean?
A depression room is a chronically messy room that is a direct result of depression.
Is a cluttered room a symptom of depression?
A cluttered or messy room does not usually signal depression, but when paired with other symptoms like isolation, insomnia, thoughts of self-harm, or chronic negativity, it could be a sign that it’s time to seek treatment.
When should I intervene in helping my teen clean their room?
If you believe your teen has depression, or if she is being treated for depression, helping her create a clean space could speed her healing process along.
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