What comes to mind when you think of peer pressure? It’s probably an outgoing party animal trying to get a shy, well-behaved teen to drink alcohol, right? That’s the stereotypical image of peer pressure, anyway.
Of course, that is a common form of peer pressure, but the reality is that peer pressure comes in many different forms. In a 2019 study by Pew Research Center, 35% of girls felt pressure to look good, and 28% of teens felt pressure to fit in socially. 61% felt pressure to get good grades, and 21% felt the need to be good at extracurricular activities. In comparison, 8% felt pressured to be sexually active, and 6% to drink alcohol.
To be fair, the above study wasn’t only about peer pressure – it was about any pressure, including when it’s brought about by family or society. That doesn’t eliminate the reality of how often teens are peer pressured and how many things they’re pressured about.
We hear stories about peer pressure from girls every day at Roots Renewal Ranch – both good and bad. What do we do in the face of it all? What are some strategies for managing peer pressure for teen girls? We’ll cover that in this blog.
Peer Pressure Among Teen Girls: Is It Always Bad?
We usually think about the negative sides of peer pressure, so let’s start with the positive first.
Peer pressure isn’t always bad! Teens can peer pressure each other into better habits, too. If you have a teen who is frequently late to school or their classes, good friends who are always on time can motivate a tardy teen to do better. Teens who care about their grades can rub off on students who aren’t as passionate about school and compel them to study more. They can even study together and push each other to dream big and accomplish those dreams.
It might be surprising, but teens with mental health conditions can also benefit from peer pressure. If you have a teen managing depression, friends might be able to pressure them into staying socially engaged. Teens with social anxiety can be “pressured” into putting themselves out there and talking more. Sometimes, peer pressure can really just be encouragement.
The Dangers of Peer Pressure: When It Comes With Consequences
“Peer pressure” is a phrase with a negative connotation for good reason. Teens do pressure each other to use substances, be cruel to others, break rules, and skip important activities in exchange for instant gratification.
This can have a real negative impact. Long-term substance use has health consequences, and bullying hurts other people significantly. Breaking rules can get teens in trouble at school, or worse, with the law, which could put their future in jeopardy. Their grades might decline, and their relationships with the good influences in their life can get rocky.
There are also mental health consequences, whether someone gives in to peer pressure or not. Research shows that peer pressure increases depression and anxiety in girls. This makes sense. When you’re a teenager, fitting in with others and being liked feels so important. Going against the wishes of other people, especially if you want to impress them, is stressful, and can even be scary. It can cause anxiety, feelings of shame, insecurity, and hopelessness.
Handling Peer Pressure Gracefully – Strategies for Teen Girls to Deal With Peer Pressure
Often, teens don’t resist peer pressure because they’re afraid of looking “lame” or being “awkward.” They want to be “cool,” impress people they like, and fit in with their peers. Sometimes, they want to say no but don’t because they don’t know how. It’s easier to just go along with what others say.
The truth is, a teen’s health and safety are what matters when resisting peer pressure – not the social implications. But it can also be really cool to say no! Let’s cover some strategies you can implement with your teen to make saying “no” feel empowering instead of embarrassing.
Build the Confidence to Back Away
It can feel super weird to just say, “No thanks,” and walk away from someone pressuring you to do something, but it’s actually an effective strategy! Letting teens know that it’s okay to walk away can be helpful because they might not feel like it’s socially acceptable.
Removing yourself from unnecessary negative high-pressure situations is a good practice in general. If your teen is planning on going to a party but knows a couple of the teens there will be trying to get everyone to drink, it might be better for them to just stay home and avoid it altogether.
Of course, your teen doesn’t need to avoid every situation where peer pressure might be present. If they do that, they could miss out on good experiences and opportunities! Part of building the confidence to back away is getting your teen to believe in their ability to resist negative peer pressure. That’s where teaching them the rest of the strategies in this blog can be helpful. Avoiding peer pressure isn’t always possible, and your teen doesn’t need to be afraid of it. They can be brave and resist it.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. It takes confidence to turn someone down, especially if you think it’ll impact you badly if you do. It’s always a good idea to teach your teen that they can’t please everyone and that their values, beliefs, and amazing qualities will be more than enough for anyone who really matters.
Make Good Friends and Call for Backup
Making quality friendships is so key in all of life, but especially high school. The teenage years are tumultuous and full of growth that can be just as difficult as it is amazing. Friends can also be huge allies in the fight against peer pressure.
That starts with teaching your teen what good friends look like. Good friends offer support and don’t tear you (or other people) down. They inspire you to grow and do new and exciting things and don’t encourage any harmful habits or behavior. They respect your feelings and boundaries. Good friends fight sometimes, but they should be willing to talk things out and learn from the situation.
No friend will be perfect, but if they have these qualities at least most of the time, they’re definitely worth keeping around. Letting your daughter make her own friends is important, but it doesn’t hurt to encourage her to invite them over so you can get to know them, too. You’ll be able to nudge them in the right direction if you need to and support and encourage their positive friendships.
If your teen has a good friend at their side, it can bring them the confidence they need to avoid peer pressure. If it’s necessary, the friend will probably hop into the conversation and let the person doing the pressuring know that it’s not cool. If all else fails, or your teen gets separated from their buddy, using them as an excuse can be a great way to get out of a high-pressure situation too. “Sorry, I have to go, my friend is waiting for me,” can be a really effective strategy!
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
It’s challenging, but sometimes you need to just say “no.” There’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s a great thing to set boundaries, and the sooner your teen learns how to do it, the better.
It might seem silly, but it can be helpful to verbally practice saying “no.” Just say it out loud! “No,” “No thanks,” “I’ll pass,” and other equivalents are so important to become comfortable with, and practice makes perfect.
Your teen doesn’t need to directly say “no,” either. As long as their intention is clear, other phrases are okay too. “Thanks, but I don’t feel like it,” or “I don’t want to, but thank you,” work just as well if that’s easier.
If your teen really has a hard time saying no, saying, “Not right now,” “Maybe some other time,” or “I can’t today,” can also work. It should get them out of the high-pressure situation in the short term, and maybe it’ll never come up again. At the very least, it will give them more time to develop firmer boundaries.
Enlist the Help of a Trusted Adult
There might be times when your teen’s wishes won’t be respected. In those cases, your teen needs to find or contact a trusted adult to help.
Your teen can talk to a trusted adult about peer pressure anytime, too. Remind them of that, and talk with them about who they can go to when they need someone. It might help for that adult to talk to your teen and let them know they’re there for support, too. Anxious teens especially could use the reassurance that the adult won’t brush them off and will take their concerns seriously.
Getting Help for Teen Girls in the Dallas-Forth Worth Area
Peer pressure takes a toll on teens. It’s at the very least stressful to experience, and at worst, a serious strain on mental health. If your daughter is in that boat or is living with the painful consequences of a decision she was persuaded into by someone else, she could benefit from therapy. Therapy for adolescent girls can help her work through anything that concerns her, peer pressure-related or otherwise.
Roots Renewal Ranch is a mental health treatment center for girls ages 13-17. At Roots, girls take care of our animals while learning to take care of themselves, build healthy habits, and conquer their mental health conditions. Our therapy is trauma-informed, and we involve family members every step of the way. Your daughter is strong, she is loved, and she is enough. Give us a call at 888-399-0489 today to get her the help she needs.
