You had been friends since middle school, dancing around your room every weekend, singing at the top of your lungs, or staying up late and watching movies at her house. You two were inseparable, until you got to high school.
She had become well-known around the school for her posts online. You stayed away from social media, not really interested in becoming the next “big thing” in the school. She didn’t seem to care about school anymore – only how many likes she could get on each picture. Until the day, a rather crude photo was leaked of her on her page.
The bullying went on for weeks, both online and in the hallways. You watched as she tried to navigate through the pointing and laughing, the kids in your high school reacting in cruel and brutal ways. She ran to the bathroom with tears streaming down her face. You follow her because, even though you are not as close anymore, no one deserves this. As you get in the door, you see her fumbling with the lid of a bottle of pills. You grab her, holding her as she sobs. She begs you to let her go, she doesn’t want to be here anymore. You feel the tears well in your eyes as you continue to hold her. What can you do now? How can you help?
The reality of teen suicide is all too prevalent in today’s day and age. We all know someone who has been affected by this type of tragedy – a classmate, a friend, a neighbor, parents, or even ourselves. Suicide not only takes away a loved one, it takes a piece of us with it.
Here at Roots Renewal Ranch, not only do we provide treatment for teen girls for mental health and substance use, but we also provide education to parents and teens on how to spot the signs of suicide, and how to cope if you have lost someone. Our program is located in Argyle, Texas, and has a working farm to promote purpose and routine for our clients. Let’s get into today’s topic – suicide in high school: what parents and teens should know.
Teens and Suicide: The Scope in the United States and Texas
According to the Centers for Disease Control, 15% of youth and young adults aged 10-24 account for all suicides. Despite this age group being lower than others, suicide is the second largest cause of death. From 2000 to 2021, the suicide rate for teens and young adults has risen 52.2%.
In 2020, the youth suicide rate was 7 per 100,000 in Texas. A youth is defined as anyone under the age of 25. Texas youth in foster care were more likely to die by suicide than those who were not – a comparison of 8.7 in foster care to 2.6 who were not.
Texas ranked 35th out of the 50 states for tracking mental illness and access to care for adults. However, in those under 18, Texas ranked 46th out of 50 for tracking mental illness and access to care. This shows a clear need for resources for teens for mental health and suicide prevention.
Signs of Suicidal Ideation in Teens
While suicide attempts or completions may seem to come out of nowhere, there are signs to look for that teens may be contemplating the action. Suicidal ideation is when teens are actively thinking about the idea of dying by suicide. They may give away that they are having these ideas without directly saying so.
Some signs of suicidal ideation include substance use or alcohol consumption, taking excess risks no matter the consequences, becoming obsessed with dying or death, writing suicide notes, stockpiling pills, gathering poisons, or buying weapons such as guns or knives.
When we notice these signs, all we want to do is change their minds, but it’s never that easy. How do we bring up the conversation in a loving way, without scaring them off or using the wrong words? Thankfully, just like “CPR” is an emergency response that can save lives from physical distress, “QPR” is an emergency response that can save lives from mental distress.
“QPR” stands for “question, persuade, refer”. It’s a 3-step process that can be followed by anyone looking to save someone’s life from suicide. If you know anyone managing suicidal ideation, this process is a way for you to reach them. Let’s take a closer look at “QPR” and how to use it when you need it.
Q: Question
The “question” stage is the beginning of the conversation and gets the process started to saving a life. There is nothing wrong with being direct and asking, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” By opening the door directly, the conversation begins with intent and shows the person your concern. However, you may choose a more indirect approach, asking questions such as, “Have you been unhappy lately?” or “Do you wish you could go to sleep and never wake up?” Asking the question is not harmful, but avoiding the question is. The person cannot express their feelings if you do not ask.
It is important to avoid words that would make the person defensive or shut down. Asking a question like, “You’re not thinking about killing yourself, are you?” sends the message that you are not asking to help the person, but to pass judgment or blame. This is an unhelpful approach.
P: Persuade
So, you have asked the question and the answer was yes, now what? The “persuade” stage is your chance to hear their side of what has been going on and provide a listening ear they need. Provide your full attention, and avoid distractions such as looking at your phone. Create a safe and quiet environment for them to express their feelings. Share your own experiences to normalize their feelings. Avoid judgemental words or situations that could damage their trust in you. Once they are finished, ask the next question, “Will you go with me to get help?” If they seem reluctant, offer other suggestions such as, “Can we make some calls together?” or “Can I make some calls for you?” Work together with the person to decide the next steps and the plan moving forward.
R: Refer
Now that they are ready for help, it is time to provide resources of places they can go for that help. Ask them where they feel comfortable going and if they want you to take them there. You still want to ensure they are okay with what is happening and keep their requests in mind. Don’t be afraid to offer suggestions for places or make phone calls together. Any sign they are willing to get help is positive. If at this stage they are not able to commit to getting help, call 911 for further assistance.
How to Implement QPR Successfully
As we talked about above, the first question is the best way to get in the door with someone experiencing suicidal ideation. It does not matter if the person is a family member or friend, asking the question begins the QPR process and allows you to provide help. There are some techniques you can utilize to implement QPR successfully, including:
- Verbally conveying you want the person to live. A simple reminder can go a long way.
- Involving other people they trust. This can be parents, siblings, friends, teachers, pastors, etc.
- Follow up after they enter treatment. A card or letter letting them know you are thinking about them shows support, as well as visiting after they are allowed to have visitors.
- Avoid the phrase “committing suicide” at any stage of QPR. To them, suicide is not a commitment, it is a perceived solution to a problem. There are always other solutions to problems, no matter how bad they seem.
- Consider attending a QPR class. There are different levels of QPR training, as experts spend years mastering the subject. A beginner class can give you the basic knowledge to help save a life.
Resources for Teens Contemplating Suicide
There are numerous resources for any teen contemplating suicide. Some include:
988 – a crisis line dedicated to mental health emergencies through call-in or text. The lifeline is available in all states, including Texas, and can help refer teens and adults to treatment options.
Crisis text line – a text line for those in need. Licensed crisis counselors help teens or adults navigate different scenarios including suicide prevention.
Texas Health and Human Services – offering a range of mental health services. Different organizations and treatment facilities throughout Texas are all localized to one page.
Roots Renewal Ranch – a facility in Argyle, TX specializing in treating mental health conditions and substance use disorders for teen girls aged 12-17. We provide a safe space to heal and address suicidal ideation.
Mental Health Help for Teens in Argyle, TX
As we have learned, mental health ties directly into suicidal ideation and attempts. This can lead to immeasurable consequences, including grief, loss of a loved one, and unintended trauma. Thankfully, addressing mental health early can prevent these scenarios. Adolescent therapy is available, and it helps teens face their conflicts head-on while providing skill-building to face new challenges. Suicide is 100% preventable, and finding treatment early on is the best defense against losing another teen.
Teens, especially girls, are faced with immense pressure daily to look and be the best. Roots Renewal Ranch understands these pressures and provides therapy options that involve family and address past traumas. All of our staff are trained in SAMA, which promotes aggression-free approaches to conflict and allows the teen girls in our treatment to learn new ways to cope and work through problems. Call us today at 888-399-0489 to learn more about our program or to refer a client to us.
She is strong. She is loved. She is enough.
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