We all have that person from our past that taught us the phrase, “everything in moderation.” For me, it was my grandmother.
Every year on my birthday, when the cake would come out, she’d say, “just make sure you eat it in moderation or you’ll get sick.” When I started wearing makeup as a teen she’d say, “as long as you’re using it in moderation.” When I started dating my first boyfriend, she told me we shouldn’t hang out too much. Even dating was “fine in moderation!”
It used to drive me nuts. I didn’t care about moderation when I was sixteen. I didn’t understand why she was so obsessed with the idea.
Moderation isn’t something most teens want to focus on, and there’s a reason for that. Adolescent brains don’t work the same as adult brains. Their decisions and actions are guided by their emotions. They’re reactive and impulsive because their prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed. Getting a teen to understand something like moderation is like trying to teach a tadpole how to jump from one rock to another. They’re just not quite there yet.
Social media is one of those things in life that requires moderation, and getting our daughters to understand “why” can feel impossible. What do we do when they ask us, “why can’t I go on my phone before bed?” or “why do I need a screen time limit?” Girls these days are highly inquisitive. They’re not going to accept answers like “because I said so.”
Let’s talk about some of the reasons why social media is great in moderation, and how we can explain this to our girls.
How Does Using Social Media Affect Teen Girls’ Social Life?
If a teen’s social life were a tree, its roots would be firmly planted in social media. This is where our daughters turn to communicate in deeper ways with their peers. It’s also where they find and share new music, trends, and styles. Because of this, it’s only natural that social media is also an outlet for our girls to express themselves and feel understood and validated by their peers.
Social media isn’t one of those things that we can shield our kids from in the hopes that they’ll never be affected by it. Learning how to communicate with their peers and create friendships is an important part of adolescent life, and without social media, it becomes more difficult for our girls to achieve that. Especially because most of their friends, if not all of their friends, are on social media as well. Learning how to use social media can also be beneficial for their future, as well. Almost 70% of employers now require their employees to have middle-to-high-level digital skills. Most companies also use social media for advertising or connecting with their clients.
Unfortunately, this can backfire with our girls. If they don’t receive the attention or validation they need from their friendships online, it could cause depression, isolation, or sadfishing. That’s why we need to talk to them about creating a healthy balance of social media, school, hobbies, and spending time (in person) with their friends. If all of their “eggs” are in the social media basket, the probability of unfulfillment or loneliness is higher.
Addiction to social media is also possible, which comes with its own host of problems. This is a great opportunity to discuss the importance of moderation with our teen girls. Yes, social media can be a wonderful tool for socialization, but it can also become harmful if it’s used too much.
Social Media and Teen Girl’s Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is precarious and fragile during adolescence. High levels of self-esteem can lead to quality relationships, success in school, healthy goal-setting, and improved mental health. This is why we work so hard to build them up and remind them of their strength, intelligence, and potential. We know that high-self esteem is a positive thing. Unfortunately, at this age, they often struggle with who they are, what their purpose is, and whether or not they’re “good enough” for the people around them.
Low self-esteem can cause depression, isolation, trouble in school and school avoidance, early sexual activity, and even drug or alcohol use. Overuse of social media is a slippery slope. The more time our daughters are on social media, the more exposure they’ll have to possible self-esteem triggers. A cruel comment from a friend, an instance of cyberbullying, or even a lack of attention from their peers online could cause a shift in how they feel about themselves. Some girls are still being bullied simply for the way they look. This is another reason why their sense of self-worth needs to be rooted in multiple aspects of their life – not just their social media.
Yes, overuse of social media can contribute to low self-esteem. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s the only culprit. Magazines, pop culture, TV shows, and even music can contribute to low self-esteem. While social media can certainly be an outlet for bullying, it’s just that – an outlet. Any kind of bullying, whether online or at school, has the potential to impact the way our daughters see themselves.
Benefits of Social Media Use For Teen Girls
We’ve mainly been discussing the possible downsides of social media for our teen girls, but there are many upsides to social media use as well.
- Social media gives teens access to a diversity of cultures, ideas, and political issues. This helps broaden perspectives and it can create inquisitive and curious women.
- Social media is fun. It’s a way for our girls to share their interests, discover new hobbies, make new friends, and get to know the people they care about. It’s also a way for them to listen to new music, share their favorite artists, and explore other topics that excite them.
- Social media helps our girls develop better social skills. It’s especially beneficial for girls who are introverted and tend to be shy or reserved at school. This is a way for her to connect with others without feeling too overwhelmed.
- Social media is a playground for our artists. It has never been easier to express ourselves and be inspired by others than it is right now. This is incredibly beneficial for those of us who have artistic and creative teens. Whether it’s painting, drawing, playing guitar, writing novels, or even knitting – there’s a place to share, create, and find inspiration on social media. It can provide a sense of belonging and connection with others who share similar interests.
Healthy Use of Social Media for Teen Girls
The question still remains: how much social media is too much? Are we supposed to give our teens a screen time limit? Do we only let them log onto social media on the weekends? Is there a “healthy” time limit? And how do we enforce that?
Truth? There’s no concrete answer. Every teen is different, so giving all teens the same screen time limit doesn’t really work. The American Academy of Pediatrics once stated that teens should spend no more than 2 hours online per day. Recently, they changed their guidelines to “fit today’s standards”, stating that educational screen time shouldn’t be included in that. (They still recommend less than 1 hour per day of non-educational screen time for children ages 3-5.)
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology doesn’t even set a screen time limit – they merely state that parents should be actively involved in what their teen is doing online. They believe that “teenagers need support and education to develop the skills to manage their social media use.”
Screen time limits should fit the needs of your family. Maybe that means no screen time on family nights or no screen time on Saturdays. The blue light emitted from cell phones is still considered detrimental to sleep, so maybe your family has a rule that there should be no phones/social media an hour or two before bed.
Social media use should open a door to communication between you and your daughter. Explaining the risks of cyberbullying and how to react can be helpful. Reminding her that “everything is fine in moderation” can work if you explain the importance of balance in her life. If she’s educated, the hope is that she’ll make good choices when it comes to how much she uses social media or how she feels about it.
If you’re noticing that she’s not making good choices, it might be time for you to step in. But there’s no set guideline of what “healthy” social media use looks like. Your parenting style and your family’s needs/dynamic will play a large role in how often she’s using social media.
Above all, the priority should be to arm her with the information she needs to make good choices.
Social Media Addiction Treatment At Roots Renewal For Teen Girls
At Roots Renewal Ranch, we remember what it was like to be a teen girl. If you’re noticing an unhealthy addiction to social media in your adolescent, we can help. Our expert staff is standing by with evidence-based techniques and compassion. If you’re interested in social media addiction treatment for your daughter, please call us at 888-399-0489.
FAQs About Social Media And Teens Girls
What is considered healthy use of social media?
Some organizations say less than 2 hours per day for teens, while others recommend creating boundaries based on your family’s needs. Social media use has both positives and negatives, and how often your teen uses it depends on a multitude of factors.
How does social media influence teens?
Social media can influence who your teen interacts with, what music they listen to, what their interests and hobbies are, what they wear, and more. Your teen’s interests and online connections will play a role in how they are influenced.
